What in the World is Large Flightless Birds?

The seach for the true orgin of all things absurd....

Greetings all. I’ve been sick most of the last couple of weeks, a couple of nasty bugs are going around and I have the non-virus, non-flu, non-covid version that settled in my lungs. Much better now, a full report soon on my introduction to the (great!) medical infrastructure here in Hua Hin. And a couple of other articles in various stages will be ready soon.

In the meantime, I feel the need to answer a question that I’ve heard different versions of…. What/why/who is this Large Flightless Bird thing? To make everything clear, here is the Wikipedia stub about our founder and visionary guide. And I must give a tip of the hat to my dear friends and colleagues Al Wood and Chip Savidge. Without their guidance and encouragement, I never would have crossed paths with Spencer….

Spencer Alistair Stirling IV

**Spencer Alistair Stirling IV** (b. 1947, Barton in the Beans) is a reclusive and semi-famous ornithologist, widely recognized as the world's leading authority on *Pinguinus impennis* (the Great Auk), a large flightless alcid that became extinct in the mid-19th century. Stirling is known not only for his contributions to ornithology but also for his unconventional theory linking absurdities in life to large flightless birds (LFBs).

Early Life and Background

Spencer Alistair Stirling IV was born in 1947 in Barton in the Beans, a small village in Leicestershire, England. He is the third cousin, twice removed, of the 32nd Earl of Bath [1]. Little is known about his early life and education, though it is evident that he developed a keen interest in ornithology from a young age, eventually becoming a respected figure in the field [2].

The Study of the Great Auk

Stirling's early career was marked by his intense focus on the Great Auk, a species that once thrived in the North Atlantic before its extinction in the mid-1800s. His extensive research on this species established him as a leading figure in the study of large flightless birds [3]. Stirling's work brought significant attention to the ecological and historical importance of these birds, and his publications on the Great Auk remain seminal in the field [4].

Obsession with Large Flightless Birds

As his career progressed, Stirling's interest expanded to encompass all large flightless birds. This fascination became an obsession, one that he pursued relentlessly, often financing his expeditions and research using his wife’s substantial family fortune [5].

Personal Life and Marriage

Stirling married Binky Wadringworth Harrington-Stirling, the daughter of a wealthy peat-bog baron [6]. The marriage, however, was strained by Stirling's frequent absences due to his fieldwork. Binky eventually left him to marry Hirushi Wannnanobe, a wealthy Japanese gentleman notorious for his culinary interest in *Strigops habroptila* (the Kakapo), an endangered large flightless bird native to New Zealand [7].

The dissolution of his marriage had a profound impact on Stirling. The fact that Binky left him for a man who epitomized the antithesis of his life's work drove Stirling into a deep depression [8]. However, this period of despair led to a significant turning point in his life.

The Discovery and the Absurdist Ratites Theory

While sorting through the belongings left behind by Binky, Stirling discovered diaries, ledgers, and other documents revealing a dark secret: Binky’s great-great-grandfather had played a crucial role in the exploitation and eventual extinction of the Great Auk [9]. The Harrington family had amassed their fortune by slaughtering the birds for their skin and down, which were used to manufacture the special undergarments worn by the Yeomen Warders of Her Majesty’s Royal Palace and Fortress the Tower of London (The Beefeaters) [10].

This revelation led Stirling to formulate his life’s defining theory: Absurdist Ratites, also known as "The Bird is Absurd" theory. Stirling postulated that all absurdities in life are somehow linked to large flightless birds [11]. This idea took shape after he misheard the lyrics of a song by The Trashmen, believing it conveyed the notion that large flightless birds are inherently absurd due to their inability to fly—a characteristic that contradicts the very definition of a bird [12].

The Council of Bird Brains

To support his theory, Stirling established the Council of Bird Brains, a group dedicated to exploring examples of absurdity linked to LFBs [13]. The council, under the honorary leadership of the Great Auk, acquired a large oceangoing vessel to expand its search globally [14]. Sadly, funding difficulties resulting from the global shutdown in 2020 for Covid halted the use of the vessel, which sank after an entire flock of Wandering Albatrosses took roost on the vessel. Their massive collective weight caused the craft to disappear under the surface of the Bay of Concepción.

Public Engagement

While the council is primarily focused on proving Stirling’s theory, they have also made their vessel available to the public for various purposes [15]. Through a website created by the council, they invite contributions from friends, family, lovers of large flightless birds, and the general public, in the hope that they can gather sufficient evidence to validate Stirling’s hypothesis [16].

Legacy

Spencer Alistair Stirling IV’s work has left a lasting impact on the study of ornithology, particularly in the field of extinct and endangered large flightless birds. His Absurdist Ratites theory, while unconventional, has sparked conversations and debates in both scientific and philosophical circles [17]. Despite the eccentric nature of his pursuits, Stirling’s dedication to his field and his unique perspective on the world continue to influence those who share his passion for avian life [18].

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References

[1]: Featherstone, E. B. *The Noble Lineage: A Study of British Peerage and Avian Enthusiasts*. Crowsnest Press, 1989.

[2]: Orkney, P. H. *From Feathers to Fame: The Early Life of Spencer Stirling IV*. Puffin's Egg Publications, 2002.

[3]: Tweedle, D. *Alcids of the North Atlantic: Their History and Demise*. Northern Winds Publishing, 1975.

[4]: Goodall, J. A. *The Last Flightless Bird: Spencer Stirling and the Great Auk*. Birdbrain Books, 1998.

[5]: Wadsworth-Harrington, M. *The Fortune and the Fowl: An Intimate History of the Harrington Family*. Bogside Books, 1973.

[6]: MacBogie, H. *Peat, Wealth, and Wings: The Life of Binky Wadsworth Harrington-Stirling*. Swamp & Thicket Press, 1995.

[7]: Snipe, E. *Rare and Edible: Culinary Exploits of the Endangered*. Kiwi & Quail Publishing, 2001.

[8]: Finchley, A. *Ornithological Obsessions: The Curious Cases of Stirling, Audubon, and Others*. Birdwatcher’s Digest, Vol. 42, 1994.

[9]: Aukstein, L. *Great Auks and Greater Secrets: The Dark History of Extinct Birds*. Hidden Nest Press, 1982.

[10]: Heron, G. F. *The Beefeater Connection: How the Great Auk Became an Undergarment*. Talon Press, 1986.

[11]: Warble, I. *Absurd Avian Theory: The Legacy of Spencer Stirling IV*. Flightless Bird Quarterly, Spring 2003.

[12]: Fowlplay, D. *Misheard Melodies: The Impact of Music on Absurdist Theories*. Tuneful Tidbits Journal, Summer 1999.

[13]: Crake, J. *Bird Brains: The Council and the Search for Absurdity*. Albatross Almanac, Issue 17, 2005.

[14]: Gannet, O. *Voyages of the Flightless: Stirling’s Quest for Absurdity at Sea*. Penguin Classics Press, 2007.

[15]: Gulliver, K. *Shared Seas: The Public and Private Lives of Stirling’s Vessel*. Gullwing Gazette, April 2011.

[16]: Lark, C. *Calling All Birdbrains: The Stirling Council’s Public Outreach*. Winging It Journal, December 2014.

[17]: Ravenstein, N. *The Absurd and the Avian: Philosophical Implications of Stirling's Theories*. Egghead Quarterly, Autumn 2016.

[18]: Sparrow, J. *The Stirling Effect: How One Man’s Passion Changed Ornithology*. Flightless Fancy Press, 2020.

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